Next I went into Claire's room to help get her clothes ready for our vacation. I should first say that we were almost late for MOPS this morning because of Claire. I DREAD next year when we have to get up early every day. Getting my dog to dress himself in a timely manner might just be easier than getting Claire to stay on task in the morning. At one point she told me that the pants I set out for her to wear didn't fit her any more. So, I told her to go ahead and pick a pair of jeans instead. 10 minutes later, when I'm incorrectly assuming that she would have her pants, socks and shoes on as well as have eaten the muffin I had sat out for her and brushed her teeth and hair (that's not too much to ask for in 10 minutes, right?) or even had some of those jobs done, she walks into my bathroom with just her shirt and pants on and none of the other things done. I ask her what she has been doing for the last 10 minutes and she tells me "taking care of Mo (her guinea pig)". OK, so back up even more to the fact that EVERY SINGLE DAY I have to remind her to take care of Mo. NEVER once has she EVER done it on her own without a reminder. Why, on the ONE day that we have to be somewhere before noon, does she finally decide to do what I've repeatedly asked her to do??? Why??? In addition, I am constantly on her to keep things in her room more neat. Every time that she takes her clothes off, she throws them on the floor and I have to follow behind and remind her to put them in the laundry basket in her closet. It's to the point where I'm contemplating what an appropriate punishment for untidiness is! OK, so she's already on my list for the day. As we are getting the clothes ready for vacation, I notice that EVERY shoe that she owns is in a huge pile in her closet. When I ask her why they are like that she says, "because I had to find my soccer cleats." OK, deep breath!!! IN!!!! OUT!!!! "Claire, please fix all of your shoes and line them back up like they need to be." Now, I wouldn't consider myself anal-retentive. A good part of my house is a mess at any given time. I don't expect perfection. What bothers me is that this same pokey puppy girl of mine also cannot keep track of any of her stuff. When it comes time to walk out the door, she will have no clue where her shoes are unless they are in a designated spot and we will be late by the time we track them down. So, I have neatly organized (and reorganized and reorganized) her shoes in her closet so that it's easy for her to keep track of them. And, as I'm setting the stack of clothes that we've picked down next to her dresser, I notice that the jacket that I planned on her wearing on our trip is laying on the floor with another jacket - both of which are dirty! And I just did the last load of laundry, giving myself a big pat on the back for staying on top of things before our trip. Good news is, by the time 24 hours passes, we will have at least another full load of laundry, so that jacket will get washed. Not the worst of things that I've ever had to deal with, but just a nice dollop of stress added to my already stressful afternoon.
The kids went outside to play for a while and I started scanning pictures for a video that I have to make tonight. Once, while checking on the kids, I noticed that Garret had a cinder block in the drive and it would be in the way when Greg got home, so I asked him to move it. He said that he didn't know if he could and I said "I'm sure you can! You are strong!" Fast-forward to later when they come inside. I look out back and as always, they have not cleaned up the yard before coming inside. So, I tell the boys to get their shoes back on and list the things they need to clean up. Specifically I said to Garret, "You didn't get that block that I asked you to move either." and he says, "I didn't hear you." If there is one thing that gets to me like nothing else, it is lying. I cannot stand to be lied to and I HATE it when my kids lie. The punishment is hot sauce on your tongue. After stopping myself from dumping the entire bottle down his throat (that would probably be considered child abuse, right?) I sent him back out to do the work, listening to him cry and whine the entire time. My tolerance for whining has never been high, but now that my kids are 6-1/2, I REALLY can't deal with it because there is no reason for it. We are long past "use your words Johnny." So, the stress just piled up.
We kept trudging through our night...the kids playing, me continuing to scan pictures and trying to make dinner in between scans. As I was finishing up the scans I was about to post something to facebook to the effect of:
Ever feel like your best isn't good enough? or
Sometimes I feel like the worst mom in the world. or
I can't deal with all this nonsense tonight. or
Calgon take me away!
As I was in the middle of typing Claire came into the room, held out a hand with 4 quarters and said "for you!" I said, "What's this for?" skeptical and hoping that she wasn't about to tell me that she'd ruined something and was trying to pay for it up front. But no, she just shrugged her shoulders and said, "for you!" again. I told her, "I don't want your money, but I will take a hug." And as she hugged me, I teared up. I'm not a crier. It doesn't happen very often, but when her little arms wrapped around my neck and I realized the significance of this attempt to cheer me up, I just felt a little overcome with emotion. I thanked her for the hug and I thanked God for the reminder that He made me their mom for a reason and that even though my best isn't always good enough, He is there to fill in the gaps. Please God, fill in the gaps! I think I left some craters today!
P.S. If any moms out there are reading, I really could use some advice on what to do about the messiness. At what point do you punish your child for not remembering to pick up their stuff for the millionth time? And what is an appropriate punishment?
OK, off to play games, read books and salvage what's left of this evening. Thank you Lord that tomorrow is a new day!
